whinge
/wɪndʒ/
verb (intransitive) whinges, whingeing, whinged
1.
to cry in a fretful way, to complain; whine.
2.
to complain
noun
3.
a complaint
Another noun to be added to that definition is "whinger" - someone who constantly whinges
Everyone feels down once in a while, everyone struggles once in a while. There isn't a single human being on the planet that doesn't have bad days, weeks, months or even years. While it is easy to recognise and acknowledge that we all have bad days - try NOT to compare your bad days with others; let's admit we all like making it seem as if we have it worse than the next person - we have to stop for a second to celebrate a particular brand of people: the Whingers
Who is a whinger? Someone who is constantly performing the act of whingeing, he who cannot find joy in anything, who always sees the down side of everything, one who constantly complains.
One inherent habit of the whinger is the use of the word "I", and let me tell ya, it's always about them. Some examples (yes, taken from a real-life whinger):
- I cannot believe this is happening to me again.
- I went to the shops and would you believe it, the parking lot was full. Just my luck!
- I feel fat. I feel ugly. I feel awful. I hate myself. (all while looking pretty good in the eyes of the rest of the world)
- I don't understand why he/she would say that. Why doesn't she want to catch up with me?
- I didn't do anything wrong.
- I feel like you're not listening.
- I have awful luck.
- Bad things always happen to me.
Your problems could never match theirs, your issues and needs could never be as important or dire as theirs.
While you may attempt to say, "Hold on, Raynes - this sounds like someone who has depression, or perhaps low self esteem, or someone who is incredibly self destructive. Why are you being so judgemental? Can't you see this person probably needs help?"
No... the whinger is NOT someone who suffers from true, clinical depression. The whinger is not someone with a true mental health issue. Whingers are able to accurately identify the issues in their lives that are making them unhappy and are capable of living normal, healthy, fulfilling lives. They are capable of changing themselves, they are not in a state where they need medical help or an intervention of sorts to get them back on track. Many whingers are often successful (not all, just many), some are privileged while others are doing it tough just like the next person.
The key factors which identify a whinger are:
- someone who constantly complains about their life,
- often has repetitive complaints
- someone who is aware of how to make changes but DOES NOT change,
- one who is in complete control of his/her happiness
- prefers to be in a state of despondency because complaining brings temporary relief,
- finds making change to be too much effort
- one who struggles to find things to be thankful for
Summed up, a whinger is a poorly motivated, complaining, ungrateful human being.
Now, are you a whinger? If you have identified yourself as a whinger, you're probably nowhere near as bad as you think. You see, whingers lack the ability to actually see that they whinge too much.
Now instead of writing something divisive which will not help anyone at all, I prefer to take an aggressive yet progressive approach. Hurting feelings, further destroying self confidence, alienating people and calling them out is not at all the intention of this.
Whingers, I beg you, implore you - stop whinging. You are in complete control of your happiness. STOP. THINK. DO. REFLECT.
For 10 minutes a day, just stop to THINK about what makes you happy. THINK about all the things that are going right. THINK about all the people that love you. THINK about how you would like to see yourself. THINK about how much easier it is to smile and laugh than it is to search for negatives. THINK about how valuable you are as a person, partner, relative, friend, member of the community. THINK about all the wonderful things in life that you are thankful for.
When you're done THINKING, start DOING. You know exactly what it is you really want to DO. DO take charge of your life. DO things that make you happy. DO things that make the people you love happy. DO follow your instincts. DO participate in community events, become someone you really respect. DO say thank you for everything positive that enters your life.
At the end of the day, REFLECT on what a day you've had! Phew! What awful things can I say that will make people feel sorry for me? Nothing! REFLECT on how much you have achieved, no matter how small or great, every victory is still a victory. REFLECT on how you positively influenced yourself and not just the others around. REFLECT on the amount of extra energy you suddenly have. REFLECT on how wonderfully everyone has started responding to you. REFLECT, even if just for a minute or two, on how things are actually not that bad.
Easy. STOP. THINK. DO. REFLECT. Every. Single. Day.
It's extremely tiring for the listener to constantly hear you talk about how awful things are going in life. In no way are you meant to hide the way you feel. If you're sad or upset or really want to get something off your chest, DO so - but do it in a way that actually HELPS you. You are in complete control of your feelings. Happiness is your. Stop being a victim. Take charge and go forth. Stop whingeing. Do something with all that energy. If you find that whingeing somehow satisfies a need of yours, then perhaps channel the negative energy you usually spread into another medium. Perhaps, write a blog? ;)
Whingers of the world, unite. You do matter. Your feelings matter. STOP. THINK. DO. REFLECT. Every. Single. Day.
and for a bit of the classic "Raynes aggression": Whingers, shape up bitches. Ain't nobody got time for that.
