To my wife

I wrote this recently for what reason I don’t know. I was dragged out of sleep just to write this. For whom I don’t know. Warning: tear-jerker. Read out loud - slowly for full effect. If you want to keep bawling and crying your eyes out,Langdon. For chapters of The Builder, check out Chapter 17


To my wife,

My darling, it’s been 60 years since we met. You were eleven, I was twelve. We met at the school yard, your books sprawled on the ground and your colourful book band broken. I recall you crying. I pulled your hair and teased you. We’ve been best friends ever since. I suppose part of me knew back then that you were the one for me. It’s really no surprise that you’ve been my wife for more than fifty of those sixty years.

I left you for the army when I turned eighteen. I came back to you when I was twenty one. We were married the following summer. I remember worrying that you would be suspicious of me when I started my job as a travelling salesman. Not once have you questioned me. Not once have you doubted me. Not once have I broken my promise to you. You’re the funniest person I’ve ever known. You’re the grooviest gal in town. You’re my dream girl, you’re my heart.

It’s funny how memory fails us just when we need to recall something. It’s also funny how some memories never fade. As days go by, I forget more and more about my life that has passed me by. If you asked me what was the name of that boy who broke your book band sixty years ago, I wouldn’t know. If you asked me who my best man was at our wedding, I wouldn’t know. If you asked me whether we have children, I wouldn’t know. If you asked me what I had for lunch today – I wouldn’t know.

While more and more memories fade, there is one memory that I cannot erase. It’s been one year since you’ve moved on, one year since you left me, one year since heaven took you away. I sit here, alone on my rocking chair, in a place I cannot remember, with people I’m sure I don’t know and all I can think of is you. At night, I beg God to allow me to forget you but He never listens. I am constantly reminded that the most important part of me is gone. I think about you all day and I don’t even know where I am.

In a world that I no longer know and recognize, at a time that is no longer ours, I am all alone. Without you. I have forgotten everything but you. I beg you, my dear wife, let me forget you as I have forgotten everything and everyone else. It is impossible for me to live with such agony, it is impossible for me to go on, it is impossible knowing that you are gone. I know you cannot come back to me, just as I know my memories of other things cannot come back to me. It is my single, humble request, that you allow me to forget you. It is my single, humble request that you take away my pain. It is my single, humble request that you forgive me for wanting to forget you.

Tomorrow, when I wake up, I hope I do not remember your name. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I hope I do not remember your face. Tomorrow when I wake up, I hope I am no longer in pain. My darling, I pray that you always know how much I have truly loved you. It is not with malice that I request you release me. I cannot live another day knowing I have to go on without you. Remember, my darling, it’s not important what I remember about you – it’s that I love you and I always will.

Loving you, missing you, remembering you,

Your Husband.



*cries* Sorry. I have no idea how I wrote this - don't even bother asking. I think it has something to do with the Chinese Ghost Month. So sad. So sad. So sad.