***
Looking even more beautiful and ominous than ever, DARPA’s baby – Jake wished it had a real name – was ready for the big test. It had taken hours to weld the pay-load carrier onto the left wing. The specifications were such that the weight of the carrier and whichever load it would carry would not disturb the flight of the plane. Now Jake understood why Jo had said that the weight of any payload should not exceed 2.4 tonnes. It was brilliant.
Jo and Fallon were fussing over the pilot, who just had to be tall and disgustingly handsome, with patches all over his coveralls, giving him a fancy “Ice man” or “Maverick” look. Jake hated Top Gun. The whole movie made him feel incredibly inadequate. He often wondered if pilots really did behave the way Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer did in the movie. Now that he was actually looking at one of those fancy fighter pilots, he knew they actually possessed the charm and earthy good looks. Crow’s feet spanning from the corners of his eyes, jet-black hair, and a sure and confident gait coupled with a smile that Jake was sure women died for, he hated him.
More than anything else, he hated the way Jo was looking up at the bastard with such reverence. He scoffed, thinking that a pilot had to be a glorified bus driver if nothing else. He was The Builder and that surely counted for something, did it not?
James’ eyes were locked on the main control screen; he was making sure everything would go perfectly. There was no way the test could fail. They had already used up all their allotted time for the project, and unfortunately, it was Jo’s fault that Jake had been brought in so late. There was only this one, single pay-load carrier and failure was not an option this far in the game. The “sell” was in two weeks, and it would be in Prague. Which meant that Jake would be travelling out of the States for the first time in his life – to the last place he would have thought of visiting.
The altered BLU 116 would have an optimized GPS trajectory with laser guidance making the accuracy very much less than ten metres. Jake read the flyer from PAVEMAKER*, the company that produced such deadly GPS and laser guided bombs, with their ridiculous tagline: LETHAL ACCURACY – ANYTIME - ANYWHERE. “Fucking crazy,” he thought to himself. Everything was commercial, everything was about money and worst of all, and everything was all- American. Even more gut-wrenching were the names of certain American missions like, “Operation Iraqi Freedom” and “Operation Enduring Freedom.”
So this is where all the tax-money went. Not to cleaning up the mess that Katrina had left, but to paying companies to make bombs, so we can all stick our fingers in other people’s pie. Why was he getting so riled up? He had agreed to be part of this sick adventure and now he was regretting? No. He was getting riled up because the pilot was trying to get cosy with Jo. Bastard. Not sure what was the cause of his new found anger and not quite sure where to direct it, Jake left the hanger in search of food. If anything could cheer him up it would have to be food.
Just outside the hanger was a makeshift canteen serving vomit-worthy burgers, but Jake was too hungry to argue with the burly cook. There was no way he was a chef. The burgers looked at least a week old and reminded Jake of MREs (meal, ready to eat), as though the entire burger had been pulled straight out of a hermitically sealed packet. As he wolfed down the food, he thought about the test. What would the explosion look like? Would there even be an explosion? Was it possible that since it was a bunker buster there would be more of an “implosion”? He chugged down an entire bottle of mineral water and thanked the sour-looking cook.
Suddenly the hanger doors were pushed open to the hilt and people started streaming out. It was time for the big “test”. Jake saw Fallon and Jo saying their final few words to the pilot – who as it turned out had to be a weapons specialist as well, he had gathered as much from all the complex firing systems that James had hooked into the plane. They were probably giving him last minute instructions, wishing him well and Jo was most probably offering to have sex with him – she had to be, the way she was leaning into him, smiling at him, damn near cuddling him.
“Builder-cum-driver! Jakie-poo! Come meet my brother, Lieutenant Colonel Jack Broomsfield,” Jo chirped as she dragged the pilot along with her to meet Jake. Jake’s face paled instantly. He should have known that the whole thing had to be a family affair. He felt like a royal idiot for thinking that Jo was flirting. He should have been able to tell they were related just by the jet-black hair, sharp features and height. He called himself twenty kinds of fool. “Jake, meet Jack. Jack, meet Jakie-poo. He built this baby we’ll be testing. I quite fancy him. But he doesn’t like me much, thinks I’m a potty mouth. He also thinks that I talk too much – judging by the look on his grumpy face!”
“I think she talks too much too. Pleasure to meet you, Jake, uh, Jakie-poo or whatever it is this runt calls you. Everything looks real good! Let’s hope she lets one rip on Area 17,” Jack said, as he grasped Jake’s hand firmly and shook it thoroughly.
“Nice to meet you too, Jack. You’re awfully young to be a lieutenant colonel. It’s cool,” Jake felt like looking at him and saying “you’re a superhero!” but stopped himself from talking - again. “Uh, Jo taught me everything I know, actually. The three of them have been very supportive. Especially Fallon,” he continued, blabbering for the first time in his life, saying too much too fast.
“Yeah, the Melon rocks, actually. Jo-Jo here tells me you have tried to spy on her with a home-kit. Fucking brilliant. If only she weren’t so smart, huh?” Jack stated – almost as though he was angry with Jake for spying on Jo.
“Uh, yeah. I don’t know why I did it,” Jake replied, red faced and unable to maintain eye-contact.
“He likes me, that’s why. Only he doesn’t to admit it, shy motherfucker!” Jo chirped as she poked Jake in the gut.
“Okay, would love to stick around and watch you abuse this poor man, I need to go bomb a ‘pretend’ town, okay? Later Jo-Jo. Jake, again, a pleasure to meet you. A word of advice, keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. She likes it. She likes you,” Jack said, winking at Jo while speaking to Jake.
Jack immediately turned back and returned to the hanger and an MP came around to them with Magdalene, Jo’s monstrous yellow Hummer. The MP handed Jake the keys and Jo, Fallon, James and Hootch piled into it. James sat in front, with Hootch and Jake, so he could give him directions to the Pahute Control Point in Area 18 – where they could watch the test in the safety of a bunker with triple enforced concrete and 2 metres of lead shielding.
It was a short drive, and Jake felt safe knowing that they would be shielded from the evil bomb. As they dismounted and went in, Jake saw multiple milling around, waiting to usher them in. Jake was sure they were General Bloomsfield’s men. Again, Jake wondered why Jo did not have the same surname as her father and brother. Once there were safely inside and settled, Jake greeted the General. James was stationed at the mission control panel, and he would be communicating directly with Jack.
It was about to go down, and all Jake could do was sit back and watch as the beautiful plane carrying the beautiful pay-load carrier designed by the beautiful Dr. Johanna Lester bombed the crap out of a no-name town.
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