Pass the Salt

After closing the shop, Jake drove straight to Jordi’s place – mostly because he was anxious to find out what James did for a living. Walking into the house, no knocking or door bell ringing required because people in Somerset still left their doors unlocked, he stopped to say hello to Jaimie who was playing video games.

Jaimie paid absolutely no attention to him and he began to think that he had no effect on women in general, not just Jo. As he rose from the mud-coloured couch, he ruffled her hair and said, “Kid, when you grow up, try not to be too beautiful, okay?”

Met with silence, save for the sound of screeching aliens who were being blasted to smithereens by some kind of a laser gun, he moved to the kitchen to find Jordi standing over the stove. He envied Chris. Chris had it all – a beautiful family and a simple life. Financially, he was sure Chris did well enough, since he was after all the only bookshop owner in the tiny town. He stood quietly at the kitchen entrance and watched his sister move around the kitchen gracefully.

He then was struck by a vision of Jo in a kitchen. She was clumsy, she had to be. He then chided himself for even thinking about Jo – in a kitchen! Flashes of Jo on his bed threatened to invade his thoughts and he stifled them by opening his mouth and starting to talk.

“Where’s James? Chris?”

“Harrumph. Those two will drive me nuts. James still hasn’t come back from his supposed ‘meeting’ and Chris is waiting for a shipment of books to come in,” she replied, crooking her fingers to make the quote-unquote sign. “Put some music on will ‘ya. I feel like grooving while mashing the potatoes.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he said as he turned to switch on the radio. He sat at the dining table, which was conveniently located in the kitchen and the two of them chatted about everything and nothing.

Chris came home first. Looking a little tired, and as bookish as he possibly could, he kissed his wife and went to play the alien bashing game with Jaimie. Minutes later, James walked in and slumped onto his seat at the dining table.

“Dinner!” Jordi screeched angrily. “Heathens, come and eat! I will not wait another second for you people! Jaimie, wash your hands! James, sit straight! Chris, stop playing that awful game and come sit down, will you?” she barked. Put her in a pair of army fatigues and she would look right at home with the jarheads down at Jessup.

As they ate dinner, Jaimie told everyone about her day at school and how she beat Rita Myers at Math .

“Pass the salt, Jake,” James said.

Holding the salt shaker hostage, Jake raised an eyebrow and looked at him. Jaimie found the “eyebrow” raise particularly funny and started to giggle, making Chris smile – and Jordi frown.

“You’ll get the salt after you tell us something,” Jake said, sardonically.

“Yeah, you don’t pass that salt to him until he answers our question,” the now interested Jordi said.

“Fine. I’ll answer your stupid questions,” James replied, looking irritated.

“What do you do for a living? Tell us about your job,” Jake said, holding on to the salt shaker for dear life as Jaimie tried to pry it out of his hands playfully.

“What? Since when do you people care about what I do for a living? This is ridiculous! Pass me the damned salt before I lose it,” he gritted.

“Whoa. What’s with you, man? Don’t scare Jaimie,” Chris interjected. “It was just a question, no need snap.”

“I work with computers, alright. I do stuff. I came home for a break and I don’t see how being interrogated about my job constitutes a holiday,” he snapped.

Passing him the salt, Jake says, “So who do you work for?”

“What’s with the sudden interest?” James replied, trying to smile so as to not scare Jaimie whose lower lip was quivering. A good cry was imminent, and if they did not let up, they were all in for a guilt-laden lecture from Chris who knew nothing about what was going on.

“Whatever. Leave me alone, guys. I mean it. I really don’t want to talk about my job, and I really don’t see a need to do so,” James said dejectedly, daring a glance at Jaimie, who had now tucked her head and attached it cleverly to Jake’s armpit. He would have laughed if there was not so much tension at the table.

They finished dinner in silence, with the occasional word or two from Chris who was trying to cajole everyone back into a jovial mood – with no real success. Dishes were cleared and washed methodically in silence, Jaimie was put to bed and James was now more suspicious than ever.

He left Jordi’s place and drove straight to Rover’s Lane, which ran parallel to Penny Lane. He parked and got his “spy kit” out of the back seat and moved with he considered to be stealth toward the back of the Coroner’s office. The streets were not lit well, probably because the street light nearest to the Coroner’s Office was not working. He found a spot he felt was safe and took out his binoculars.

Setting his sights on a window that appeared to be open, with a little light in the room he waited for movement. Nothing. He continued to wait for approximately fifteen minutes before anything he saw a shadow – a slim and very feminine one, pass by the window. The shadow moved around, elegantly and he could not help but find her interesting. Even the way she moved was awkward, yet it seemed fluid and graceful.

The shadow moved, and she had obviously left the room. It was now dark, and he noted that she had not shut the window. He reached into his bag and fished around. This was his chance.

“When you want to stalk someone – or spy on them, you’ve got to go all the way,” he said to himself. He pulled a sling shot he had sneakily stolen from Jaimie and readied it. Digging into his jacket pocket, he tugged out a stick of gum and began to chew on it vigorously. He then got out the long range microphone which he had re-wired, altered and tested during a lull at the shop earlier today. He had soldered it onto a small, square metal plate.

His components now ready, he firmly placed the gum on the bare, back surface of the metal plate and placed it in the middle of the rubber garter of the slingshot. Taking aim, “I’m the best damn shot I know, and if this fails, at least I can study the sound of plants growing.”

Pulling back the rubber garter of the slingshot till it was taut, cricking his neck, he readied himself for the shot. He released the rubber garter and with a grunt of satisfaction, he watched his illegal microphone fly through the night and land perfectly on the window sill. He waited to see if it had attached firmly. Picking up his “spy kit” he slowly backtracked to the truck.

Before driving off, he picked up the hub of the portable, battery-powered microphone and switched it on. Putting on his earphones and knowing what he was doing might get him thrown into a jail cell or padded room – depending on who caught him first; he turned up the volume and tuned to the sounds coming from the house.

The first sound to hit him was the ridiculous, jarring sound of her radio. This time, she was listening to Barry White. The sound of water running and – was she singing?

“Trying to hold back this feeling for soooo long. And if you feel like I feel baby, then come on! Yeeeaaahhh Hootchie boy, don’t just sit there waggin’ yer tail. I’ve got some serious dance moves I want to teach you. We’re all sensitive people, with sooooo much to give. Spin, Hootchie, spin!” he heard her and the excited bark of the dog. He heard everything.

“Damn, now don’t you wish you were a dog,” he said to himself with a smile.

Laughing to himself, he sat there a little while longer while she danced with the dog and prepared for her shower – or Hootch’s shower. He really wanted to know what her dog looked like. He figured you could tell alot about the breed of one’s dog.

He knew he had to go back to charge the batteries of the hub, and he wouldn’t get a signal from his place. It was late, he’d come back tomorrow, during his lunch break and after office hours. He would have to find someone to watch the shop for him during working hours. He knew Chip might fill in for him, for a few extra bucks. This woman was worth it, whoever she was.

Missed Chapter 3? Read it here
Missed Charpter 2? Read it here
Missed Chapter 1? Read it here


Chapter 5 will be coming to you on the 11th of June! Thanks for reading!