Tycho never made Sense

Missed a chapter or two? Read them here! Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

He spent the rest of the day in silence. He needed to learn? They brought him in on this “project” and he needed to learn? He put everything he had into learning how to build a weapons delivery system and this was the thanks he got? The insane sentence “you needed to learn” sounded a million times in his head. Calling himself an idiot was one thing, but having someone else bring your idiocy to your attention was another thing, especially when that someone else wanted your help.


“Are you going to sulk tomorrow too, Jakie-poo?” Jo said as she came down the stairs of the basement. Jake found that solitary confinement suited his mood just fine, and was not in the mood to “play” or to be “played with” by Jo. “Can I tell you a story, Jake? It’s just a story, really. Quite funny, when you think about it.”

“I’m kind of busy here, Jo. Maybe another time, okay?” Jake replied, not wanting to look at her, knowing he would melt and give in.

“So, it’s about this guy in the 1500s, his name was Tycho Brahe. He was a mathematician and astronomer. And, the best part is, he was famous. He was brilliant. So brilliant, that no one actually remembers who he is now...” Jo rambled, ignoring his rejection. “He had an awful personality to boot, too. When he was twenty, he got in a fight and lost his nose, so he had a metal prosthesis. He fixed it to his face with wax. Brilliant. Anyways...”

“Is there a point to this very interesting story, Jo?” Jake said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

She shot him a dismissive look and continued on, “There is a point, if you’ll only listen. He studied, and he studied hard. He searched the skies, looked at the stars. He worked hard – and then drew the conclusion that the world was in fact, stagnant. Stationary, not revolving. Can you believe it? I mean, here was this guy, who had all the information of the universe at his finger tips – well, not all the information, and heaven only knows if he even had accurate information, since it was so fucking long ago.”

“Focus, Jo. Focus. Back to the point of the story,” Jake said, hiding his amusement.

“Yes, yes. Don’t rush me. Magic fucking happens when I tell stories, I’m told. There was this time back when I was an undergraduate,” she continued on.

“Jo! Really! Get to the point or get out! And stop being a potty mouth” he said, totally entertained by her story-telling skills, or lack thereof.

“Yes yes. So, my point is, although right now I may have forgotten it,” she said while she stared at his hands. Jake’s eyes followed her, and he noticed a tiny cockroach approaching his hand which lay on the table. Pulling her gaze away from it, she continued, “He studied hard, worked hard and came up with conclusions and answers that were completely wrong!”

“Yet, we all know it was absolutely necessary that he studied as hard as he did, worked as hard as he did and churned out wrong information. Mankind should thank the mother fucker for being wrong. He was meticulous, designed great instruments and observed things with great accuracy. He needed to be wrong, so someone else could be right, don’t you understand?”

“No, actually, I don’t. How does this have anything to do with me?” Jake asked, perplexed.

“You need to learn and make mistakes, Jake. We all do. We all have to learn. Some learn faster and some learn a little slower, but everyone will make mistakes. So now that you’ve learned, Bayesian statistics tell us that you’re about to make a huge mistake. The probability is high, so go easy on yourself, okay?” Jo said, still not making any sense to him.

“So, let me get this straight, you’re telling me that there is a high chance that I’m going to make a mistake similar to this guy’s? Seriously? Could you choose a more roundabout way of saying it? Geez. The lot of you drive me crazy. Why can’t you be normal? I mean, you’re way too gorgeous to be normal, but you could try, dammit!”

“Try to be normal? Why? Simple theory of mine; any attempt at being different is in fact simply normal. Brilliant, I know. Philosophers would be proud!”she said, though he noticed her face had flushed red. She was blushing? Pushing the fanciful thought of that blush spreading lower down towards her chest out of his mind fast enough to have any real reaction to it, he glanced away and spoke.

“I really have to get back to work. I really do love working with the PTI, but honestly, that software is not going to figure itself out.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then. If you have any questions, though, you can ask Fallon. He likes you, and has obviously accepted you as one of us. Dinner upstairs at eight?” Jo asked, gently now, the colour on her cheeks fading.

“Yeah, sounds good. I’m good with whatever,” he replied, already wanting to see that red flush all over again. How could blushing be attractive, he wondered.

He spent the next few hours stooped over at his desk learning how to use the PTI software. A proud part of him wondered if the corrections he had drawn on the glass model were in fact, correct. That would mean that no fancy computer could outsmart him, right?

The ridiculous Tycho story slowly sank in, and he realised he was actually trying to understand what Jo had meant. He really had learned a lot over the past few weeks, and judging by the schematics shown on the computer, his initial calculations had been wrong – awfully wrong. Like not sharing cake with kids kind of wrong. It was all wrong, and now he clearly understood. He may have learnt the basics, but he was far from getting things right. He needed Fallon’s help.

Pushing away from the table and heading up the stairs, he glanced at his watch and noted that it was almost eight. He looked forward to sitting across Jo the Crazy during dinner. He considered sitting right next to her, but scrapped the idea the moment he realised he would be a goner if her thigh brushed his. Then he mentally kicked himself for thinking about her thighs. It was going to be a long, painful, tortuous dinner.

“Well, well, well, the ogre appears. Jo Jo, you little friend has decided to grace us with his presence for dinner,” a sarcastic voice said. Jake knew in an instant it was the Melon Felon

“Well, well, well, Smeagle’s still here, ‘Jo jo’. Have you found your ‘precious’ yet?” Jake replied, egged on by Fallon’s nasty glare.

James sputtered and spewed his coffee all over the table, in an attempt to control his laughter while Jo moved about “assembling” dinner. Instant tacos really did not look very appetizing, but there was a lot to be said about the female preparing the tacos. Each outfit proved to be even more ridiculous than the last. She was wearing an evening gown today, only it had been ripped mid-thigh, making her look like she was cast in a Marilyn Manson video. Black nails and racoon-eyes perfected the look. She truly was adorable. The thighs looked positively delectable, and he mentally kicked himself again for thinking about her thigh, or any of her body parts. No one could actually blow a balloon or even build a weapons delivery system wearing that, but she obviously defied logic.

“We’re going to have to stop at Jordi’s place after we leave tonight, brother. She’s been looking for you, and that abomination you call a truck has been parked outside the shop way too long. She’s getting worried. Worst of all, she’s getting suspicious. Dinner at her place tomorrow?” James asked, concern washing his face.

“Ooooooo, I love pacifying sisters. I’m the perfect gal to take home, ya’ll, Project Pacification, here we come!” Jo jumped in with a Southern drawl, earning a scoff from a now silenced Smeagle-Fallon.

“You’re not coming Jo,” Jake said. He would not allow her infectious laughter and off-kilter personality to infiltrate his private life. It would be disastrous.

“So, Jakie-poo, do tell us, have you realised that the piece of junk you call a weapons delivery model is actually junk?” Fallon asked, stressing on the word “poo”.

“Fuck you, shorty. I checked the ‘junk’ myself, and he did a pretty good job. Sure, the delivery system would’ve failed if we actually built a full-scale pay load carrier, but it was his first attempt. Now back off, you turd. Can I call you something else? Let’s think of another name. The Melon Felon sounds way too good,” Jo laughed, defending Jake. He was touched that she had so much faith in him. Nothing like having a beautiful woman fighting your fights for you, he figured.

“Sun Tzu said to never push a man to the corner, never make your enemies desperate. You’re pushing me, Jo Jo!” Fallon said, with mock indignation.

“Fuck Sun Tzu, you freak!” James said and late into the night the foul banter continued.



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