The Party

Yes, this time I'm delivering on time. Chapter 14, served with veggies. Tell your friends. Missed a chapter or two? Catch up here: Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

With so little time left to the “big test” in Nevada, Jake wondered how a birthday party got thrown into the mix – that and for the life of him, he could not figure out what a “propulsion system” for guinea pigs was. His mind conjured images of the poor animal being flung into the air and he hoped he was not right.


He spent the afternoon going over the pay-load carrier and mount, proud of himself. In such a short time, he had gone from Mr. Jake Foster to The Builder. In forty short days, he had given up the shop, spied on a crazy lady, learned multiple new skills, built a nuclear weapons delivery system, enlightened himself to the conspiracies of the supposed great Americans, became part of a team and he could not be happier.

Based on what he knew so far, he was sure things were only going to get more exciting – more dangerous and mysterious, the trip to Nevada would be anything but dull. And then there was Jo. Something about her sent ripples of anticipation through him – or was that fear? She was in a class of her own. Bordering on insane, she was brilliant, beautiful and had a magnetic personality to boot. Never in his life had he met such a strange character. Fallon came in a close second, with his Sun Tzu obsession and warped sense of logic.

James somehow struck him as the most normal of the lot, although now that he knew James had been keeping his life so secret, it was an almost sure thing that Jake did not know everything he needed about his kid brother. He heard Fallon say once, “A general who never reveals his battle plan and keeps his enemies and soldiers guessing will be victorious.” James was, after all, the “general” of the team and Jake knew that James would keep everyone guessing – right to the very end.

The sun was setting, and Jake knew everyone was anxious and ready to go for Jaimie’s birthday party. He could not believe Fallon had a gift for Jaimie. Even James - pan-faced as ever, had a gift. Jo tried to look as normal as she possibly could, he noted that much. She had on what she called “regular-people-jeans” and a thin sweater, with a benign pair of Chuck Taylor’s. Although, she could never possibly look like a normal person, what with the untameable hair, her shocking height and a body that could cause spontaneous nose-bleeds in the male species.

“Ready to go? I can’t wait. I haven’t had birthday cake since I was like, two inches shorter!” Jo squealed.

“She’s trying to tell you that she was born a monster,” James said quickly.

“Uh, yeah. Where’s your gift, Jo? What happened to Bradley?” Jake said, eyes searching for a cross-eyed mutant guinea pig.

“You’ll see. Brad’s waiting in the car,” Jo said. “Get out of the house and into the car, ya’ll! We’re going for cake! Jaimie turns five just once! Fallon, try to smile. You want to consider shaving that awful moustache off before we go? You look like a convict with an IQ of seventy.”

“Shut up. Chicks love the ‘stache. And Jaimie’ll love my gift! I got her a calculator!” Fallon said excitedly.

“Seriously? You got a calculator for a five year-old girl?” James said. “I got her an Etch-a-Sketch. Now that’s a cool, smart gift. What’d you get her, Jake?”

“I, uh... I got her a soft toy. It’s a llama,” Jake replied, embarrassed.

“A llama? Seriously? More like a L-L-L-Lame-ah!” Fallon snickered, earning himself a swat on the butt from Jo.

When they got in the car and shut the doors, the pungent odour of Bradley, Jo’s gift to Jaimie, wafted to the front. Muttering curses and pinching their noses, the four of them set off, The Builder, The Melon Felon and the two geniuses – for a birthday party.

When they arrived at Jordi’s house, they rushed to wish Jaimie for her birthday and give her their gifts. All except Jo – she was waiting for the right moment to give Jaimie her gift, and by the looks of it, Jo’s “propulsion system” was heavy. Jo had placed Bradley in a small cage in the kitchen, while she left the ‘real’ cage in the Hummer.

The party was truly an experience for Fallon, Jake figured. While chatting with Chris over the barbeque stand, Jake watched Fallon try to chat up almost every female in sight – young and old alike. He played with the kids and showed them cool tricks with his cool phone-cum-sat nav system, he helped old ladies to their seats and winked flirtatiously at Jordi’s single friends. Fallon was quite the ladies’ man. James holed himself at the corner of the yard, nursing a warm beer and not interacting much with the party-goers.

Jo was in the house, helping Jordi with the food and drinks. Jake wanted to see her, but thought it would be too much if he went into the house to find her. The party was in full swing and kids were laughing, screaming and running around, balloons were popping, men were nodding at each other in conversation, girls were giggling over Fallon’s moustache and then all of a sudden – a blow horn sounded, the kind one would get at a football game.

The crowd was stunned into silence, kids stopped playing, a baby or two burst out into laughter at the sound, and Jordi emerged from the house with a huge cake in her hands. People started to cheer and clap, kids became more excited than they were before – if that was even possible. Jo followed close behind Jordi, in case she dropped the cake, or the candles went out before they made it to the food table in the yard.

Everyone readied themselves and they sang to Jaimie, who was now shaking with excitement in anticipation of blowing out all the candles on the cake. After the candles were blown out and the cake cut and distributed to the small people who had to keep themselves from sticking their fingers into the cake, Jordi announced that it was gift time.

Everyone settled down to watch Jaimie open her gifts, one by one. Adults found the whole event incredibly tiresome, but they stood and watched, mostly because their wives forced them to do so. Fallon’s gift was the first to be opened; the look of confusion on Jaimie’s face was truly priceless. James’ gift was exciting, and other kids could not wait to sketch out hideous pictures of what they thought were horses. Jaimie hugged Jake’s llama with so much love that it looked like it might burst, and Jake knew it was worth all the ribbing he had received.

The rest of the gifts were opened, welcomed by gasps of awe from kids, and bored “Ooohs” and “Ahhhs” from parents. When the last of the gifts were opened, Jo emerged from the back with a small wooden box, which really looked like a jewellery box. Placing it on the ground and telling everyone to move aside, she pulled out a remote and pressed a button.

To everyone’s surprise, the small wooden box opened upwards and outwards, like a scene from a sci-fi movie, to a massive four feet wide and three feet high cage, with a cushy-looking mini bed and shelter, feeding and water bottle slots, a play area for with wood shavings, a big, round exercise wheel, an odd-looking contraption in the corner and a huge, plump cushion in the opposing corner. Amidst shocked mutterings from the adults, kids went wild, almost as though they knew what they were looking at.

It was the contraption in the corner that was the winner, Jake knew. It had to be the elusive “propulsion system”. Jo then produced the foul-smelling guinea pig royalty from under her shirt, bent down and planted a big wet kiss on Jaimie’s cheek, wishing her happy birthday and telling her never to grow up. She introduced Bradley Fluffybottom the Third to everyone, and then placed him in his fancy suite.

“Watch this, Jaimie! Kids! Get over here, you have to see this!” Jo said excitedly. Everyone gathered around to watch Bradley, a brown and white, bug-eyed and grossly over-weight guinea pig search around his new home, nose-twitching. Bradley was heading towards the odd contraption, which appeared to be a cushioned launch pad. As he slowly idled towards it, Jake worried that the whole thing might turn into a gruesome horror movie, with the “propulsion system” morphing into a torture device.

Once the fat-bottomed guinea pig clambered onto the launch pad, Jo shushed everyone. She moved towards the corner where the launch pad was located and pulled out a wooden lever from the wall of the cage.

“Ready? It’s a very primitive mechanism, so Chris’ll have no problem keeping it well oiled and functional,” Jo stated. Kids cheered and shouted, some were scared and peeked through their fingers. She wound the lever and clicked the launching button. The crowd went silent and Bradley was sent soaring, little paws moving like he was swimming, eyes bugged even more than ever. He rose till about two feet in the air, not even close enough to the roof of the cage and landed with a soft “plop” on the cushion. Completely unfazed by his recent flight, Bradley climbed off the cushion and swiftly went to his food bowl. The crowd broke silence and began to cheer.

“When-I-say-jump-you-say-how-high!” Jo sang, off key. “Get it?! G-Force? Like-a-bird-like-a-plane!”

It was at that exact moment Jake knew he was falling, hopelessly, for the psychotic doctor.



You like? Tell your friends! Also, I have sketches and ideas for how all these weird things I think of should look. Anyone care to be my illustrator? You'll have complete ownership of all the illustrations and I'm sure we can cut a deal if we make any money from The Builder. Anyone? Please leave a comment, I'm writing blind here - I don't know if anyone is actually even enjoying it thus far. Much love to all!